Broken

well today hrm.. SUCKS.. my point of view..

yesterday.. the day before that i receive my GPA ppoints.. very disappointed .. so i m completely depress at wat im studyin next year la.. i got less then a week to decide my fate.. and i know is my fault she don know.. i mean wats the point .. my result never did impress her anyway.. i been living my whole life keepin thing to myself.. never had i told any one my problems.. some of my frenz kept telling me its not good keeping problems all to yourself.. i know.. but no point tellin also.. no will understand unless they been through it..

i put on mask everyday, tryin to prove im not affected .. but im .. i constantly observe thinkin things would change.. its hard .. Must i always listen to orders? must i respect you ? yes im doin that.. im tryin not to be impatient, but i cant its just my nature.. i m born this way .. god made me this way.. everyone is different !

i put on smiles everyday.. so no one would know i have problems .. as the years pass.. i grew cold towards others.... but i m LOst .. i learn being cold better.. coz ether way you wont be hurt.. by someone close or a person you just met.. at the cost of losiin your real self.. who is Shahidah, Shah and Sasaki?? are they the same people..? i cant find my answers.. i m living in the world of Lies..

i have decide what i want.. now i must wait.. only time will tell